uprise (on my part)

20th of April my bestfriend and i talked. honestly, i am wholly bothered with my love life. I like jerwin. he is cute and adorable but sometimes he lacks humor. We are getting along very well. But i can’t kinda show my affection for him because of my friend. i always consider him. i don’t want him to be hurt because i know he loves me. unconsciously or not, i always cause him pain :( he is a very good friend almost like a boyfriend way back then. we talk for hours, laugh, and sing. i wonder why i didn’t fell. maybe because he is just a friend for me. I remember when i started to avoid that guy, i felt like i’m incomplete because every day of life, he used to be a part of it. But then after hours of thinking and praying, i knew what’s best for all of us. Though i miss him most of the times, it’d be regretful for me if i still continue that connection with my friend. i just give him heartaches. it’s kinda unfair too if i suppressed my intentions for jerwin. i feel so sorry for breaking someone’s heart but if i don’t mine would be suffocated. that old friend also deserves someone a lot better than me, somebody who would not hurt him. i hope and pray he finds his other half soon. 

downfall but up again :)

i decided to disregard but not completely forget that old friend. diversion of attention to my prince charming and on us :) however on the night of april 23rd, i and jerwin got ourselves into a cliff. he gave up for several hours then redeemed that spirit again. i am no more a drama queen. :) after hours of thinking, i just let it passed, like nothing happened. i hope this time, he won’t give up because i am now sure that he’s the one :) i am just waiting for that right time, when i’d say that 3 words, 8 letter-phrase of a lifetime :) he said he can wait forever. we’ll see.